Unplanned sabbaticals

In interim ministry, I often look at the calendar in anticipation of the next pastor's arrival. I usually exhale, much like the congregation. Sometimes my exhale lasts a few months after I say my thank yous and good byes to my partners in ministry. This will be my last unplanned sabbatical.

I always have a few projects and goals. Envelop myself as a house husband for a few months. Clip more coupons, find where I can buy the cheapest fresh spinach, work toward a deeper sense of household feng shui. Write more. Exercise more. Read more Bible. Facilitate more peace for wife and daughters through order, sleep better, and purge the stuff that creeps into the house, multiplying like termites. Too much plastic, too much paper, too many unused tools. They all sounded good at first glance, but they all clog my life as my pores clogged as a teenager. Sabbatical is more than rest. Sabbatical works like astringent.

I have a project that continues to provoke my soul, and it feels like make or break time. I don't need money. I only need time. I haven't given up on the dream of another degree. The formal path does not work for my family and me. If I am truly passionate about religion in the Salish Sea region, the research and information gathering beckons. It matters not whether others find it interesting, because it is the story of my life to be learned and told. My sabbatical is one month away. Intentional rest, intentional work. Outside of visiting my brother in Edmonton, I will avoid driving, for that has been my part-time job during my current interim ministry. Commuting alone (or with my daughters) by car kills me.

During my longer tenure as a house husband, I embodied a few lessons taught to me by monks in the District of Columbia and my spiritual director in Sioux Falls.

1. Raising young children is similar to a monastic life.
2. Manual labor is a form of prayer.

Though networking will be on my sabbatical agenda (the next ministry awaits on the other side). I hope the wisdom of God and my prayers and the prayers of those who love me will shape my next season of life and ministry. God saw that the creation was good in sabbatical, and I am visualizing the most fulfilling unplanned sabbatical yet. I know it won't completely go in the rudimentary plans I formulate today, but I know the Holy Spirit will move in those days.

40 day journey with Martin Luther: Day 5 "True" Prayer

"God...wants you to lament and express your needs and concerns...in order that you may kindle your heart to stronger and greater desires and open and spread your apron wide to receive many things." --Martin Luther

I am culturally conditioned regarding the word "true." Often it is used to set someone over and above someone else, such as someone is a "true fan" if they do such and such a thing. Or a "true Christian" is someone who ascribes to particular doctrine or dogma. Luther appears to depict true prayer as someone who prays in earnest and with discipline. Earnest seems helpful on this occasion because method is left open and therefore examining self before prayer for intent becomes important.

Journal reflection:

"When do you feel closest to God?"

I feel closest to God in movement. It can be running, walking, driving. More of my senses are engaged--the beauty of surroundings, the sound of my breath and possibly music, the sound of animal life, human life and wind. Sometimes I smell something baking, the evergreens or the damp air. In a moving car I feel peace as the rubber rolls along the pavement. The car movement is calming and engages my brain in a powerful way. In these movements my brain engages in keeping balance, but after awhile my prayer directs me toward the important things of the day. Giving thanks helps me keep focused on the important things.

"Describe a time when your "whole heart" was at prayer. What feelings were evoked in you?"

My prayers for "whole heart" prayer don't seem all that focused. It usually comes in a time of distress. When things aren't right with my wife or daughters--illness or danger. My attention toward them and to God are in deep earnestness. If I'm thinking and praying about them, does that make it a whole heart prayer? Is prayer about focus, or earnestness? I don't know. But there is a feeling of total dependence. Maybe that is whole heart prayer.

Half-marathon completed today

Thanks for the encouragement and prayers for this morning's half-marathon in Woodinville. In the past I have hit shorter races, like 5ks. I wanted to challenge myself--and today was a huge challenge. I was pretty pokey and didn't really prepare myself for the hills. I hit a "wall" at about mile 10, but I was still able to finish. For me, this is an accomplishment. I'm not in a rush to do another race of this length, but I will probably do another one. I'd like to move up to a marathon, but I'm not sure if I can make the time commitment at this point. Even the 2 hour runs I needed to train for this race are sometimes hard to carve out of a day.

I love the race atmosphere and having a goal to push my training. I found it was a little harder to train for this than a 5-mile race I did on St. Patrick's Day, especially as my wife and I try to figure out our schedules. Maybe I can find a short race in November or December so I can train better during the holiday season...